5 Tips to Avoid the Plague
PAX is over for 2012 and you’re all in your homes mourning the thought. If you’re like me, you’re sitting in bed with a tissue in hand and boxes of cold meds all around you. Yes, that’s right. You’re curled up in a painful little ball, hating the world because somehow you contracted the PAX Plague. Through trial and error and many germs later, I’m slowly begun crafting the art of NOT getting the plague after a long convention weekend. Here are some tips to help you along:
Don’t share drinks
This one is a little too late for me this year. When it comes to alcohol, I tend to think “Oh, the booze will kill any germs.” and take a swig of whatever comes my way. Sharing a bottle of booze in your hotel room with your best buddies sounds like a nice cheap way to pre-game before the parties with $10 drinks. Unfortunately, this money saving tactic will land you in bed before the weekend finishes.
Hydrate yourself
Sure, I sound like every boring adult saying that drinking water will keep you healthy. They’ll tell you that water will kick your metabolism into gear and get your body’s nutrients moving to where they need to go. All that’s true but I’m thinking more on a 4 day drinking binge stance. You wanna feel hung over for 4 days straight? Dehydrate yourself. You wanna drink like a champ and keep up with the likes of Shorty? Drink water like your life depends on it. Hydrating like Blastoise is in your pocket will keep your body is tip top Drunken Master shape.
Eat…eat…eat
I have in fact spent an entire PAX living on coffee and booze. It didn’t end well. Instead of showing you the pro’s to eating… I’m gonna show you what happens if you don’t eat:
**Warning this ain’t pretty**
Avoid those questionably aged girls with the Free Hugs signs
I know how difficult this can be. You see these adorable girls with tails and ears just begging for you to wrap them in your arms. You want to share the love that is flowing within you and show your fellow gamer how much you CARE for the community. Big mistake. Think of PAX like the movie Outbreak, these girls are the ground zero monkey Marcel.
High fives lead to facepalms
Dudes know it’s creepy to have a “Free Hugs” sign so they take it to a less skeevy place. They ask for high fives. I know it sounds dickish but I usually shut them down. You’re probably thinking, what’s wrong with a high five? See, high five dude just walked over and hugged 16 of those questionably aged girls with the signs and now they’re forwarding that superbug directly into your hand.
I know you guys are reading this and wondering how I can dish out this advice with a tissue in hand. Well, I broke my own rules. I gave a handful of high fives, way too many hugs to friends and I shared a bottle of Kraken with more people than I care to admit. Next year, I hope to heed my own advice…
If you have any more suggestions, please share with us idiots!
does that mean that a 100% perfect PAX 2013 is on its way or do you feel that youll learn a bunch of new plague avoidance rules next year?